Home Forums Programming Top Ten Lies of Engineers

This topic contains 16 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 13 years, 2 months ago.

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  • #5301

    Anonymous
  • #31463

    Anonymous

    lol. Good find.

    This code supports all the industry standards that I agree with.[/quote:56b75e5d9a]

  • #31569

    Anonymous

    pfewww, I am proud to say I’ve never used one of those so far :P
    (although some sound strangely familiar)

    on the other hand, the second one…. :oops:

  • #31571

    Anonymous

    They should post a list for engineering students:
    no 1. I can program in Functional, procedural and OO languages!

    Actually:

    no 2. I know the difference between Functional, procedural and OO languages!

  • #31575

    Anonymous

    pfewww, I am proud to say I’ve never used one of those so far[/quote:d80cc5cb45]

    Have you actually programmed any projects? I had a great laugh at it, exposes all the excuses for what they really are, especially the ‘real top 10 lies’!! lol, a very good find.

    (although some sound strangely familiar) [/quote:d80cc5cb45]

    Living in denial never helps!! If you haven’t come across any of those excuses in one form or another, you’ve never done any programming!!

  • #31576

    Anonymous

    Living in denial never helps!! If you haven’t come across any of those excuses in one form or another, you’ve never done any programming!![/quote:f55fc89280]

    Any industry programming…
    Which in truth is a million miles from programming for a course – and coming out of college to look for a programming job is exactly like walking that million miles, barefoot.

  • #31577

    Anonymous

    Which in truth is a million miles from programming for a course – and coming out of college to look for a programming job is exactly like walking that million miles, barefoot.[/quote:7598e07fe3]

    With warts on your feet!

  • #31578

    Anonymous

    ya all familar indeed.

    My personal favourite of those types of lies is “its not a bug its a feature”.

  • #31583

    Anonymous

    “It works on my machine.”

    That should be number 1, not relegated to a user suggested comment…pssh

  • #31590

    Anonymous

    Have you actually programmed any projects? I had a great laugh at it, exposes all the excuses for what they really are, especially the ‘real top 10 lies’!! lol, a very good find.
    [/quote:ddece047f6]
    I was talking about the first list. Sounds too much like engineering/senior position than proper programming to me.
    “real” industry stuff. Corporate programming, I would think of it. I’m glad to say in 11 years of having small jobs here and there (after all, I like my studying) I’ve managed to avoid proper corporations and stick with local companies, which erquires a very different sort of bullshiting.
    The only one I did (but I actually wasn’t lying) is number 3. I do comment my code. Not for other people, but for me, since I’m usually the only programmer anyway…

    Living in denial never helps!! If you haven’t come across any of those excuses in one form or another, you’ve never done any programming!![/quote:ddece047f6]
    Indeed, denial doesn’t help, but like I said, the first list is for a different sort of programmers. Corporate whores as I like to think of them. Yes, I know resistance is futile, I will be assimilated.

    Still, I agree with Kyotokid: “It works on my machine”.
    Best line ever. I still burst out laughing when I hear students telling me that when showing their projects, but what scares me is when I see it in the industry : “well, the technicians on our side say it works on their machine, so it must be a problem on your side!”
    Hotlines: endless hours of fun! :twisted:

    I know I’m a programmer when I read the daily WTF and burst out laughing when I realise I’ve seen entirely too many of them in my work experience (as humble as it is…)

  • #31591

    Anonymous

    “It works on my machine” is an entirely valid excuse and there are many reasons to account for this; coders with code checked in, but not in the latest release, coder / designer not having synced latest assets, either party with some local data, different machine specs and many others including ‘i’ve no idea why’.

  • #31596

    Anonymous

    “It works on my machine” is an entirely valid excuse[/quote:1c6968ca16]

    Hear hear…

  • #31602

    Anonymous

    “It works on my machine” is an entirely valid excuse[/quote:82d49cb301]
    Remind me never to buy one of your games…I’d like to be able to play it on *my* machine. This thought does pop into my head a whole bunch of course, especially when things go unexpectedly wrong when you are demoing something, but at the end of the day, something is obviously not right and blaming the rest of the world is not the solution.

    Dave

  • #31605

    Anonymous

    But it’s human nature to blame something/someone other than ourselves. Very few of us are aware of(or at least acknowledge) our own short comings

  • #31607

    Anonymous

    programmers don’t have human nature…

  • #31610

    Anonymous

    “It works on my machine” is an entirely valid excuse and there are many reasons to account for this; coders with code checked in, but not in the latest release, coder / designer not having synced latest assets, either party with some local data, different machine specs and many others including ‘i’ve no idea why’.[/quote:3d82882501]

    I agree.. check in’s are the usual culprit, then sdk versions outta whack etc. endless reasons.. So i dont think that should really be in that list.

  • #31611

    Anonymous

    I agree.. check in’s are the usual culprit, then sdk versions outta whack etc. endless reasons.. So i dont think that should really be in that list.[/quote:8921f688c5]

    Yup, old exes, mis-merges and old data…
    99% of the time someone’s just been silly, that other 1% of the time its an absolute bugger to fix.
    Plus you’re sometimes working on say a PS2 dev kit and it may not working on a PS2 test kit because its been set up differently.

    I’m not saying it should be ignored and coders just leave it, but its usually valid, and you end up going to the deisgner/artists machine, doing something simple and it just works.

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